Decisions...

So I know that I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks, but readers on the FB page will know that I ran out of Nicosan and fell sick! I'm much better now, and things seem to be looking up on the Nicosan front.

I have also been job hunting. Actually I applied for and got 2 jobs and now I'm faced with the dilemma of having to turn one down. I'm actually tempted to keep them both, but I know that my sickle cell won't let me work that much! I usually work 3 or 4 days in a row, and need a few days in between to feel rejuvenated enough to work again. But I like both jobs, and see the potential for growth in both organizations. Decisions, decisions, decisions!

I guess I shouldn't be venting about this, after all, some people would be grateful to have one job offer, let alone 2. But even though I know rationally which job to accept...the other job beckons me as well.

Job 1: is where I presently work but the job will be as a permanent employee instead of a contracted position. I know the routine, adore my coworkers, and it's a cush (easy) job. I've done this type of nursing for a while now, and I'm used to it. The schedule is good and the pay and benefits are astoundingly good. Free parking. The hours are 12pm-11pm...which is perfect because I get to sleep in, and still get to fall asleep in my own bed at night.

Job 2: is more intense. It will be a new field,~Trauma, so I will be coming in not only as a new employee, but completely new to that type of nursing. It will be challenging, difficult and will have a huge learning curve. However, it aligns perfectly with my future goals, and sets me up in a good position for my graduate program (the hospital is directly affiliated with my future grad school). The pay is a couple of dollars less per hour, and the benefits totally suck. Parking is atrocious there. It is a night shift position (7pm to 730am), so I will be doing the graveyard thing again.

I really like Job 1, because I'm used to it, it's safe, and it pays more now. Job 2 however, aligns with my future goals, and once I'm done with grad school, I will be making more than both these jobs combined.

It's times like this that I wish i was a normal person, who could hold down 2 full time jobs and not have a crises. So I have to pick one...this week. The question is,...which one?

Telling Your Job You Have Sickle Cell

Okay, for starters I've learned the hard way that it's always good to tell your job that you have sickle cell BEFORE you end up in the hospital for a week.

I used to work as a personal assistant, and it was a great job that used my organizational capabilities to the max! I fell sick 2 months into the job, and was in the hospital for a little over a week, and at home the rest of the 2nd week recuperating. Needless to say, when I got back, there was a ton of work to catch up on and my boss was not pleased. She wasn't mean about it, but she stated quite truthfully that if she had known that I would disappear all of a sudden she would never have hired me, or would have hired an assistant to fill in when I was out. I learned a great lesson that day, and ever since then, I've been upfront and honest to my employers and potential employers about sickle cell.

Usually, I don't say anything until the end of the 2nd interview (the one with your direct boss), when the interviewer asks me if I have any questions. Then I state, "Just so you know, I have sickle cell anemia. It's a hereditary condition that flares up once in a while. It makes me have to use my sick days a few times a year and sometimes, when it gets real bad I have to go to the hospital."

That's it. Nice, simple and honest. This usually opens up the ground for them to ask more questions, like what exactly is sickle cell anemia, and when was the last time I was sick. I usually only tell my direct supervisor about the sickle cell, but post-crises, I tell anyone else that asks. I'm not asking for sympathy...I'm trying to spread the word and shake the ignorance and mystique that surrounds sickle cell.

Now I work in the medical field, so people 'get it' more. However, this same speech has been used to interview for an office job, a mall job and a writing gig...so it can be tailored to fit your profession as well. I've never NOT gotten hired because I told them I have sickle cell (knock on wood).

I understand the mentality of trying to hide that you have moments of vulnerability from your potential employers. But sometimes hiding the condition ends up doing more harm than good. Employers love it when they get the full idea of the person they are hiring (so states my HR sister Ms. Diva). And when they do find out later, they might end up resenting you for hiding it, and since they legally can't fire you for being sick, they make your job more and more difficult so you eventually have to quit or get sacked for something totally retarded.

Remember, if you had diabetes, lupus or MS, it would not be a huge deal to tell your boss that this is my condition, and these are my limitations. So apply that same principle to your job now. Honesty is the best policy.

Let's Play Catchup

What's good fam? Has it really been that long?

I can't believe we are midway through Sept and I haven't posted a thing. Sorry to all the folks that emailed me, with no response---I haven't been sick, I've just be drowning in a sea of too many responsibilities.

Work: has been a bust. What started out as another contract of fun and growth has turned into an almost nightmare! It's true what they say, "Familiarity breeds contempt". There is a charge nurse on nights that has an axe to grind with me and she is seriously on my case, every single night! We are scheduled to work together almost every day, so this has made my job really difficult. I won't get into it on here (I'll save it for the nursing blog), but I've had moments in the last 3 weeks that I just wanted to quit! Thank God for good friends on the job that have kept me sane....

School: has been busy but rad. The present class I'm taking is so challenging but I'm learning alot. Last week I had to do a brochure on pulmonary fibrosis...I got the highest grade in the class, it was so fetch! I'm planning on getting an A on this class, so I'm really putting my nose to the grind.

Relationship: has been great. Norio is such a blessing in my life, don't know what I would do without him. He actually switched his job to work nights too, so that we both would be on the same schedule, and I must say, being both nocturnal has its perks! Now we schedule are breaks at work together and I can vent all night long...lol! Today after work we went to test-drive cars and found the perfect fit for both of us. Now we just have to come up with the money!

Nicosan: flipped me out one night! I don't know if it was the combo of taking Nicosan on an empty stomach or if I was just feeling ill, but I totally threw up 10 minutes later (at work!) I've been kind of wary ever since, but nothing else has happened---maybe it was just a fluke. So now I'm taking it with my meal...right in the middle of dinner, that way there is food coating it on all sides.

Sickle Cell: is down and out. No episodes, no crises, no pain. Go Nicosan!

Okay, so that's the scoop on me---what about you guys?

Admitting I'm Not a Super Woman

I was at work last night, another late 12 hour nocturnal shift. Everything was going okay until around 4am when I got hit by major pains. It's unethical to be popping pain pills when I have the lives of other people in my hands so I just gritted my teeth and tried to bear it.

However, the L3s were not letting up and I ended up flopped on one of the chairs at the nursing desk. One of the nurses asked me if I was okay. In that split second, I could have flashed her a smile and lied saying that I was, but I didn't.

"I'm in pain."

"Oh really? You have cramps?" she asked me. "No, I have sickle cell anemia and it's acting up," I said in a monotone. All the nurses looked at me then, instant pity on their faces. Yuck! I was mortified and wished in that moment I hadn't said anything. "Do you want to go home?" the charge nurse asked me.

It was 4am, I had 3.5 hours left in my shift. I shook my head no slowly. It would be a real stressful thing to leave my coworkers in a lurch with extra patients each. What can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment. She seemed relieved I wasn't going to head home. "You should go lie down. Take a blanket and one of the empty rooms and we'll wake you up a little after 5," the charge nurse practically ordered.

I wanted to resist and push through the pain, but at this point even I knew it would be an exercise in futility. Next to getting pain meds in my system at that point, rest was the next best thing so I protested weakly at first but gave in when everyone insisted.

I'm always wary about telling my coworkers and people in general that I have sickle cell. Mostly because I don't want to be treated like an invalid or wallow in pity. But this is one instance that I'm glad I spoke up and let my vulnerable side show. I can't be a Super Woman every time.

An hour later, I woke up from my power nap with L2s but was able to finish the rest of the shift much more comfortably. Kudos to my coworkers for being so cool and picking up the slack for that hour when I was down and out.

Here is to surviving a potential crises. I'm home, rested and feeling much better now. Super Woman lives to fight another day.

'Allo!

I worked a Double last night....my second double (16 hour shift) ever! It was actually not too bad work wise, and I was able to chill out and rest today before my next shift 2morrow. I think I'm going to be doing good for the next few weeks with work even though I plan to work hard, I will be sleeping and cranking up on the hydration tip.

Nothing to report...so far it's been a great week. So how have things been for you?

Working Overtime

I've really been feeling 'off' all week since I pulled a double at work. I know, I know--I shouldn't have, but the money was too good, and my birthday is coming up so I needed it hardcore. Anyway, I slept the first day after that, and pretty much rested up the next day after that, but I don't think that was enough to counteract the effects of staying up working for close to 20 hours.

My mom says that I bring the crises down on myself---for not taking it easy. I HATE taking it easy, it's hard enough having SS without sitting out on the sidelines of life in the guise of taking it easy. Sheesh!

Okay, I know she's right, if there is one big issue I have---it's lack of self control. I can't say no when my body is telling me no. Here's what the convo with my body vs. me goes like.

Boss: Vixen, do you want to work a double?
Body: Oh hell no, you only got 6 hours of sleep last night and you are already tired. You need to go home and rest.
Me: Well, the money will make it worth it.
Body: What good is money when you are racked out in pain?
Me: Shush, I'll be fine, I'll just pop some pain meds
Body: You're a fuckin' idiot. Say no!

Me to Boss: Yes, I"ll do it.
Body: Dumbass.

So now I'm paying for it.

Working Where I Was Sick

Yesterday I worked with a nursing agency. I got floated to the unit where I was sick in December! It was weirdly uncomfortable as you can imagine. The first nurse I ran into said, "Your face is so familiar," and as soon as I said my name she exclaimed, "Yeah, you were a patient here last year right?"

Oh hells fuckin' no! She remembered? I was so embarrassed, I could feel my face tightening up. If I was lighter I would have turned red!

The shift turned out really good, she was the only one that recognized me, until I was giving change of shift report to another nurse, whose face I actually remembered. He made the same comments and this time my mortification was complete as I thanked God that he didn't have to put a foley in me when I was admitted. Luckily he was really nice and handled my pain well when I was there, cos if not, we would have had some words!

I survived both encounters with grace, I would like to think...

My First Job

For starters at my first job post graduation, I told my boss upfront that I had sickle cell and how often I fell sick. This was news that I told her at the interview before she even thought about hiring. I've done this with every other interview ever since. Boss Lady, as I affectionately called her was so cool. She made sure my schedule wasn't too hectic, refused to put me on more than 2 days in a row even if I begged for it, and whenever I needed a break from the unit, all I had to do was take a walk into her office to chat for a few minutes.

I didn't fall seriously sick until I was about 4 months on the job. By then my coworkers knew and liked me, so when I came back after being out for 10 days, they were so solicitous and worried about my health. My coworkers became like my family, and whenever I was ill from then after, I would get lots of love, cards and visits from the staff. There was one time that I was in the emergency room downstairs and had to call up to them for help because they were treating me like shit and Boss Lady went down there, gave the ER charge nurse hell and had me transferred outta there asap. There was another time that the ER couldn't get my IV so the best nurse on my unit came and got it in one shot.

I did get admitted to my unit a couple of times and both times I was too drugged out and in pain to even have any shame or embarrassment. One of my coworkers even inserted a foley catheter into me...talk about weird! I had this one admission that left me in the ICU with a face mask on getting hemapheresis on my blood. That was by far the worst admissions I'd ever had in my life. My coworkers came to see me and went back to my unit and told everyone that I was deathly ill. Boss Lady later told me that it cast a pall on the whole floor when I was really sick those few days. I would like to think that the prayers, care and support I got then from my family, friends and coworkers really pulled me through.

I did come to work sick alot of times. I just hated leaving my unit in a lurch at the last minute. and dragged myself in, achy joints and all. Usually on those days, I would take some Motrin, slap on a portable thermal heat wrap on my knees/calves and get to work. The heating pads helped with the pain immensely and if I limped, then so be it, my work was getting done.

Boss Lady even went as far as to suggest to and help me apply every year for the FMLA, so that I wouldn't keep getting reprimanded for using more sick days than I had. The Family Medical Leave Act can also be used for people with chronic conditions that still want to work. Look into it, it's a good law that prevents your job from docking your pay or reprimanding you for excused absences provided you have a longstanding medical condition.

So with my first job, working with sickle cell wasn't as catastrophic as I thought. I wasn't treated any differently when I was well, I still got the same rigorous case load as everyone else. However, I had the comfort knowing that whenever I was feeling poorly, I could tell the charge nurse, take a break or even duck out early if I needed to.

As you can tell, I loved, loved, loved my first job. Why did I leave? Well that's another story for another day.