Sunday, October 28, 2007


Vixen is sick she has been in the hospital for the last two weeks hopefully she will be back home this week
this is kafo her sister

Monday, October 22, 2007

Here We Go Again

Just when I started thinking I was going to be doing great for a while.
Just when I started getting into the groove of this exercising thing.
Just when I started taking Pro-Arginine and feeling great.
Just when I started getting used to my hours at work.

Just when my life starts getting normal again.


I fall sick. With an H&H of 4.3/12.9, I was delirious, weak and in pain.
So now, 10 days later, I have to pick up the pieces, get my strength back and start all over again. It's enough to keep me down and out.

But still I rise.


Friday, October 12, 2007


I have this weird feeling in my leg. It first started in my thigh, like a tight muscle. I had Norio massaging it last night with some relief but I could still feel a knot there. Today the next symptom was tingling. It's on the same leg but the tingling is in my left foot and toes with a weird numbness. I'm worried about this. Worried because it sounds like a possible blood clot that may have migrated from the thigh to my foot.

Or it could be nothing at all. I hope it's nothing at all.

I didn't mention it to Norio, but I'm very worried. I have a doctors appointment on the 24th, so hopefully it will be staged or better by then. Sometimes it's hard knowing so many complications of sickle cell---then every single little thing sends your mind whirling in a thousand different directions. Only time will tell.

I hope it's nothing. Nothing at all.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Why I Don't Take Hydroxyurea

Last year, after numerous bouts of falling sick, my doctor practically ordered me to give Hydroxyurea a shot. Also known as Hydrea, this is one of the medications that has been known to reduce the incidence of sickle cell crises'. When she explained it to me, it sounded good, but as soon as I had the script filled and in my hands, I started trembling.

For some reason, my skin crawled and I recoiled from accepting the two large canisters for 300 pills. I had done my research, and the list of side effects was monstrous, however she assured me that 'most people don't have side effects.'

I got home and Norio and I read the whole packet, front to back, and the more I read, the more discouraged I got about taking the medicine. Developed originally as a chemotherapy drug, Hydrea has the potential of preventing crises by actually killing off the neoplastic 'sickle cells' and prevents the developed ones from taking the sickle cell shape. Since it's the clumping of the shape that causes a crises, it's been known to reduce crises' by as much as 50%.

Except it's a cancer drug.

It's a cancer drug. Ick, ick ick! That alone comes with it's own list of complications. The list is so long it's atrocious to call it a medicine. I was having thoughts of my hair falling out, horrible GI symptoms, nausea, vomiting, dehydration, exhaustion, more anemia, constipation, diarrhea, skin turning pale, insomnia, cough, soreness, fever, chills, back pain, black tarry stools, bleeding, confusions, convulsions, seizures, blackening of nails, sores in the mouth, fatigue, itching, numbness & tingling. And that was just the stuff that didn't sound deadly.

I just really felt so scared to take it. It seemed like I would be putting poison in my body to try and rid me of this ailment. There had to be another way---there just had to be. Norio and I prayed fervently for some conviction before I even tried taking it and for some reason, the only one we got was a strong reaction NOT to take it.

I know that Hydrea has worked for some, and many will laud it's apparent helpfulness. But those two canisters sit at the back of my closet, untouched and unopened. This warrior has spoken.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Pain Can Kiss My Ass

Meet Elise...isn't her attitude so fuckin' incredible?

Random Thoughts

What's up peoples! I'm here, alive and kicking.

I'm taking it easy this whole weekend. I've been on a constant roller coaster of activity the last few weeks, and finally I just had to take time out for me---to rejuvenate and recharge my batteries. So I turned off my cell phone, stocked up on herbal tea and chilled with Norio as well as a few books in my TBR (to be read) pile.

I forced myself to go to work on Friday even though I wasn't feeling particularly well. I'd been dealing with L3's the night before, and had to take Motrin all through the shift just to be able to make it. Fortunately, I had a lady I was orienting, so she did all the work---I just got to cover her. My boss actually told me that I shouldn't come to work with even a twinge of pain.

Hmmm, we'll see how that goes. Norio thinks I'm so stubborn, but the truth is that I live a life of pain, and so I can't keep stopping what I'm doing, planning to do or scheduling to do just because of some pain. Pain is a fact of my life, it reminds me that I'm still alive yet another day.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007


Happy Birthday to me!


And those crazy docs said I wouldn't live past childhood.